Returner - Yasha x Kujaku (or x anyone else)
by Nalahime
Summary: It is a one-shot songfic that I wrote in mere minutes, because it popped into my head. The song is "Returner" from "Gackt" with the english lyrics. The story is about Yasha who needs to go to war, but leaves his special someone behind. (AU) And many thanks to my beta-reader MsLyoness! Cheers!


**Rating: T**

**Genre: Songfic / Romance / Tragedy**

**Warnings: None really, besides character death and Man x Man, although nothing happens really.**

**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing of anything that could be claimed about this besides the idea for writing this.**

**Summary: Yasha needs to go to war and leaves his special someone behind. Song is from "Gackt" and is called "Returner."**

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**Returner**

**Yasha x Kujaku (or anyone else)**

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_**As the moon was being held closely by the sky,**_

_**I became frightened of loneliness. **_

I miss you, miss you so much... The promise I made to you that day, that I would live even when you are gone – I hope I can keep it.

I sigh, as the cold air engulfs me and sends a white cloud with a prayer to the heavens. How long will I need to wait for you? How long will I despair and fret? How long will I stay sane with you in danger? I shake my head, glancing behind me into the house, seeing my family in the lighted room through the window and turning my gaze back forward into the night. Night, pitch black and dark like your hair or your midnight blue eyes...

My eyes closed I make up my mind, ready for whatever may come. I go back into the house, quiet stealthy and go towards my parents' room, stealing the scroll with the command of the royal house. Fast and undetected by my loved family do I ready everything I need: the sword, the armor, the horse. My father had been meant to go to the front lines in the name of the Emperor, but now I will go. Not a veteran, not a swordsman, but someone determined to fight for the one he/she loves.

And so I ride into the darkness, reckless, hoping, yearning...

The army is harsh, the training worse and the commander sickening, but still in my dreams I see you again, even if I haven´t found you yet in reality. I know you are here.

_**If I can meet with you again,**_

_**Even in a dream,**_

_**Let me have eternal sleep.**_

Soon then, after having been honed to the best as possible in this little time, we are all called to the front. At first I´m frightened, but remembering you gives me strength and courage. I fight and fight, blinded in my ecstasy and the battle rages on until nothing is left but death and the night. I am alone and looking desperately for you. Hoping that you are not one of the many unresponsive bodies...

_**As the moon was being held closely by the sky,**_

_**I became frightened of loneliness,**_

_**So I called out, searching for you, but couldn´t see through my tears.**_

I remember you, the days of hidden bliss, excitement and hushed words of love. But above all I remember your smile, so rare and beautiful like none in the world. And I think to myself that I won´t find mine again if I don´t find you alive.

_**When reflected in your eyes,**_

_**I would be smiling,**_

_**Never again shall I find a smile like that one.**_

_**In the darkness, my cries go on,**_

_**And there I see you,**_

_**Too far away.**_

I run to your body on the ground, cradle you in my arms and cry towards the heavens about their cruelty. I found you, I see you, I hold you, but you are too far away now.I wish I were asleep again. In a dreamworld with you breathing, with you embracing me instead of this world which robbed me of you.

_**To the point of breaking,**_

_**Hold me tightly.**_

_**If I can meet with you again,**_

_**Even in a dream,**_

_**Let me have eternal sleep.**_

I stay with you until my tears run dry and slip into sleep, too exhausted for anything. With you by my side I don´t care what happens anymore. The dream I had was wonderful, I know, but as I wake up the memory fades and all I pray for is to keep it just a little longer, to remember you and your intoxicating touch...

_**To the point of breaking,**_

_**Hold me tightly.**_

_**The dream, from which I´ve been waking up, is vanishing,**_

_**Your arms and beloved voice are fading away.**_

I despair even more now in the day, seeing your body torn up so much and my eyes fall upon your prized sword. Your loyal companion as you had told me with a laugh and I gulp. My hand stretching out towards it, touching it slightly with the thought of following you.

However, as I touch it I remember your voice and mine – making a promise. I ruefully smile as I think that even now you keep me alive and scold me for my reckless idiocy I always displayed in front of you. Yes, the promise of staying alive no matter what and to see you again, even if it is in another life. And so I close my eyes again imagining you and trying to slip back into a dream, but I know I won´t see you when I wake up.

_**Because I will meet with you again,**_

_**Because I made a promise,**_

_**With love that would overflow,**_

_**Cover me gently –**_

_**Let me have eternal sleep.**_

Days later, when I returned home, a funeral is held for all the warriors who died in the war, but my eyes are dry. Even so my heart cries:

_**I can´t see you,**_

_**I can´t see you.**_

And so I live on and laugh, but never smile, live some more and eventually die. And finally I see you once again. Strong, gorgeous and stoic. So very serious, but as I talk to you I can see it – your smile. We returned, not home, but to one another.

**The End**


End file.
